Healthy Relationships

Relationship Rules for Couples

Healthy relationships are adorable. Most people interested in starting a relationship dream of having a fulfilling and long-lasting one. When in a healthy relationship, you are happier, healthier, and your stress levels are minimal.

Rules for a healthy relationship are the same. When applied to any relationship, their concepts provide the same results. They include:

Being Realistic

Remember, you are dealing with a real human. It is selfish to set unrealistic expectations that movie characters can only meet. Do not base your relationship on some fantasies we are made to believe in books and movies.

If you want to enjoy a long-term and happy relationship, minimize your ultimatums. Accept your partner with all their flaws and be at peace that you can't change some things about them. People commonly use things they don't like about their partners against them during an argument. When you accept them with their flaws, you are more forgiving, and you will not reference them whenever you have an opportunity.

Being realistic also includes living within your means. Stop comparing relationships and be content. You know your financial status. So, it does not make sense to pressure your partner to buy stuff or pay for vacations you can't afford. Manage what you have, and you will find other exciting things you can do within your budget.

Talk, a Lot

Rules for a Healthy Relationship

Happy relationships are not based on assumptions. Instead, happy couples, even those who have met each other on an online dating site, communicate consistently about what's going on in their lives. They do not ghost each other and assume the other person will understand why they are not talking to them. A few healthy relationship rules couples use to ensure they are in frequent communication include:

  • Taking time: Healthy relationships are made of people that constantly show up. When they plan to meet, they actually do so without giving excuses. And after showing up, they come wholly prepared and are not in a rush to finish the meeting so they can resume whatever they were doing. This time is special and happy couples take it seriously and talk as much as possible.
  • Listening genuinely: Take whatever your partner is telling you seriously. It feels quite humiliating when you attempt to talk to someone, and instead of listening, they interrupt you midway. Stop pre-meditating your answers and start listening. Understand your partner's concept and be logical when contributing to the discussion.
  • Asking: Sometimes, your partner can be undergoing challenges they are not comfortable talking about. Some choose to withdraw or even cut people off. To avoid being in an uncomfortable situation, consider asking questions. Ensure they are engaging and don't make your partner feel harassed. Such questions can encourage them to talk, even when they don't feel comfortable.
  • Information sharing: Be open about who you are. When you are sure about giving a try to a relationship, do not make your partner struggle too much, trying to have your basic information. Imagine how they would feel about the depths they have to go to find out more about you beyond personal information. This doesn't mean bombarding them with everything at once. Share enough information gradually and when they have questions, provide them with enthusiasm. It shows you are also ready and happy about building a healthy relationship.

Flexibility

Among the important rules to a healthy relationship is dropping everything you know or have been told about relationships when entering into one. When you have had another relationship, do not bring the principles you used in it with you. Change is not fun, and we tend to be comfortable with what we know.

When you choose to remain comfortable with what you know, you might have succeeded in creating a recipe for another failed relationship.

Accept change and be open to trying things with your new partner. Build a new path that none of you has to refer to your previous relationships. This approach allows growth and a chance to enjoy a happy relationship.

Practice Self-Care

Relationships are not meant for condemning one person to endless responsibilities. They should be based on mutual respect and sharing. Avoid being carried away by working on the relationship and entirely neglecting yourself.

Remember that happiness is a choice. Do not expect your partner to make you happy when you have not worked on your insecurities. Regardless of how hard they try, they may never make you happy, and nothing will ever feel right.

Work on yourself and identify your qualities that can sabotage the relationship.

Be Dependable

Avoid being the disappointing partner. While dating, you will make many plans and schedule many meetings with your partner. These are exciting ideas that keep the relationship lively. When you make such plans or schedules, ensure you fulfill your end.

Do not make excuses whenever you fail to meet your end of the bargain. Remember, you are dealing with a grown-up person who can make independent decisions.

Even when a relationship is based on trust, you can be a turn-off to your partner each time you fail to be in line with plans. Your partner can lose faith in you. Be someone your partner can count on whenever you plan or schedule something.

Fight Fair

Healthy Relationship Rules

You will have your fair share of arguments in a relationship. It does not mean you are no longer attracted to each other. Whenever you have disagreements:

  • Cooldown: Avoid throwing words carelessly to your partner when you are angry. Some of them are hurtful, and your partner may not recover from them. Such comments have ruined perfect relationships and led to break-ups on some occasions. When having fights with your spouse, the best approach is to calm down first. Your emotions will not dominate the conversation, and you will have a logical and productive discussion.
  • Use personal statements: Do not use plural when addressing your partner. It is disrespectful and a sign of ill motives. Instead, consider using personalized messages to express yourself. For example, instead of using phrases like, ‘other women are lucky to have men who think of them often.' Try saying something like, ‘I feel ignored whenever you do not spare time in your busy schedule to call me.'
  • Use precise language: Avoid using idioms or other complex languages while addressing a problem. It will not always be a paradise. As time goes by, your partner will start developing new behaviors, some of which will piss you off. Instead of attacking your partner, consider talking to them about their unpleasant behavior. Criticizing or judging them can hurt their self-esteem and create a barrier between you. When there are many critics against the person you love, do not be one of them.
  • Work on an issue at a time: Solve problems as they arise. You will not have a whole list to crack when you approach them this way. Piling the wrongs from your partner makes you a bitter person. And whenever there is a confrontation, you find yourself using words like ‘always' or ‘never.' These can choke a relationship because the other person will start feeling as if you are holding grudges against them and waiting for a moment to attack. Handle your problems while still fresh to avoid piling hurtful feelings.
  • Be responsible: Apologizing to your partner is not a sign of weakness but maturity and responsibility. When you hurt your partner's feelings, it takes time for them to heal because they could not expect that to come from a person they love. When you realize you have hurt them, consider apologizing to them. Mean what you say, and it will go a long way.
  • Accept some situations: You cannot have a solution for everything. As people from different backgrounds, you will always have a few differences. Some are deeply rooted, and trying to crack them with your lover may never create any difference. Instead of ruining the relationship, learn how to live with the differences. Focus on the good traits, and this way, you will maintain a robust relationship.

Be Affirming

John Gottman, a relationship researcher, says that happy couples affirm their happy moments. According to John, out of 1 negative encounter, a reciprocal of 5 positive encounters is given. This attitude keeps couples happy and healthy.

Also, these couples have creative ways of spicing their relationships. They capture moments when their partners are making funny expressions, helping with chores that make them feel loved, and others. They affirm and appreciate their partner's efforts in having a healthy relationship.

Instead of focusing on that one negative thing you don't like about your partner, affirm their positive traits that give you goosebumps and appreciate them. Enjoy the affection given by your partner and avoid getting stuck in things that don't count.

Maintain a Balanced Life

Your life does not revolve around the relationship. We are social beings, and our partners can't meet all our needs. Do not limit yourself in the relationship. Does this encourage cheating? No. It means pursuing your hobbies and interests. Join groups and attend networking events to meet other people with similar interests.

Such connections help you grow your skills and become more creative. You also find opportunities you could not have found in the relationship alone.

Participating in activities outside your relationship also helps you remain mentally healthy. Instead of repeatedly dealing with the same thing, you challenge your mind to do something different.

Embrace the Process

Rules to a Healthy Relationship

Most people seem confident about their choices and the things they do. On the contrary, most of them have a lot of insecurities that they have learned to conceal behind their faces.

When you find it difficult to connect with other people, know you are not alone. Others like you fear being rejected or feel a lack of belonging. Starting a relationship is not as easy as people make us believe.

It means meeting a person you don't know, becoming friends, and building trust in them. All these cannot happen at a go. Instead of making quick decisions, learn to embrace the process of building a healthy relationship.

Take the time to learn about the person you want to date - their values, beliefs, and interests. It helps to be with a person with shared interests and values.

Whether it is your first time being in a relationship or you have had one before, you can always learn and practice things that make it healthy. Being teachable helps your relationship grow better and stronger.

Be Yourself

Nothing beats the power of authenticity. Do not fake anything for you to fit in a relationship. A person who loves you finds your personality attractive no matter how weird others see you.

Relationships based on fake things never last. At one point, you become tired of playing a character you are not. When you unveil your true self, your partner can lose interest because you are no longer the person they fell in love with.

To save yourself the headache, be yourself from the beginning of the relationship. You will never feel pressured about your personality, and your partner will not have to deal with mixed feelings in the future.

It is always good to consider the other person's feelings. Anyone would feel lied to when they realize the person they have been in love with is a fake. Imagine the type of thoughts that would flood their mind at that instance. Just don't fake anything!

Last update: 04/25/2022