The Most Helpful Tips for Interracial Dating
Interracial dating, especially with people from the black community, was frowned upon during colonial times. Times have changed, and more people are embracing intercultural dating. While there are beauties that come with dating someone of a different race, it is vital to understand that the dynamics are usually different.
Everything from the culture to the upbringing, worldview, and life's experiences are different when international dating online. Therefore, you need to consider a few things that will make your relationship successful.
Here are interracial dating tips you should have up your sleeve if you're planning to date someone from a different community or are already in an inter-community relationship.
Do Not Date Someone from a Community You Have a Fetish for
Everyone has obsessions, but for others, having sex with a person from a particular community gives them the kicks. Dating someone because you think it would be hot to bang them is demeaning and insensitive. It means you've prioritized your sexual desires rather than their companionship needs.
Instead of dating someone because of their origin, try looking at other positive aspects about them. Fall in love with the person instead of their culture.
Watch out for Signs of Being Fetishized
If you're dating someone from a different community, it is vital to watch out for signs of being fetishized. Love is a beautiful thing that everyone should experience. If you get the chance to date someone from another race, it is critical to know if they are interested in you or your culture.
People that are fetish-driven are prone to making race-centered fetish comments about anything. If you're having a conversation and they focus on what people from your ethnicity are fond of doing, it is time to hit the road.
You can also know if your partner is race-fetish if all their previous partners are from a particular ethnic community.
Steer Clear from Assumption Making
Whether or not you know your partner in and out or have interacted with their community enough times, making assumptions about what works for them is a no-no. Before making any conclusions, ensure you have the facts.
Please do not assume you have bonded enough to know what they like, how certain things make them feel, or how they will react in particular situations. Be open and ask to avoid making them feel stereotyped.
Clear and Open Communication Should Take Precedence
Concise, open, and honest communication is the rock bed of any successful relationship. When looking at how to date interracially, it is even more vital for you to have honesty in your conversations to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
Please keep away from making judgmental statements to avoid making your partner feel like they are walking on eggshells. Always clarify anything you have issues with to avoid harboring feelings of distrust and hurt.
Adjust to the Different Communication Variations
By virtue of being born in different backgrounds, you should know that several things, including how you communicate, are different. If you are used to facing issues head-on and have learned to work on the effects before getting to the root cause, you may have a hard time.
When your communication methods differ, sorting out the differences helps you have open and effective conversations. You avoid running around the same circles because your partner doesn't understand how you communicate.
Have Total Respect for All Cultures
There are thousands of cultures globally, and each has different ways it operates. It is possible to have varying opinions about something your partner's culture does. Whether you agree with their way of doing things or not, it is critical to show respect to it.
It is their way of life. Therefore, demeaning any aspect of it means you diminish your partner's value on account of their culture. This is one way of killing the relationship before it begins since moving past that point is difficult.
Understand Their Culture without Being Pushy
Understanding your partner's culture plays a significant role in how you bond. It shows you put effort into knowing who they are. Your interest in their culture indicates you prioritize your mate's roots, lifestyle, and other aspects of their origin.
And while this is a beautiful gesture, pushing too hard can become annoying. Ask as many questions as you can to help clarify the grey areas, but do not make it the focal topic each time. Find the right time to ask such queries to avoid looking obsessed or annoying your lover.
Delve Into Their Struggles
Prejudice, racism, and discrimination are the things that non-white people go through at some point in their lives. When your partner gets to that point, it is vital to help them deal with their struggles.
Understanding their plight is the first step to becoming resourceful. Your support should come in next. Offer a shoulder to lean on, legal action, counsel, or financial aid to help overcome those demanding situations.
Open the Door for Question-Asking
Clarity comes when questions are asked, and detailed answers follow. Seeing that you're from different races, it is natural to want to ask questions about your partner's culture. Let there be an open door rule that allows you to ask questions regarding your lover's culture without judgmental tendencies.
Declare Your Stand When Your Partner Says Something Offensive
Conversations can quickly escalate from being general to offensive in a second. You should be open and comfortable enough to tell your partner you find a comment distasteful. Sulking and avoiding confrontation won't solve the problem. Instead, it will leave the door open for more insensitive things to be said.
If you want to teach your partner what is okay and what's not, stating your stand regarding anything they say, primarily when false or insensitive, will help clear the blurry lines.
Respect the Difference in Priorities
Each culture has different hierarchies on what they deem essential. Some communities esteem family and relationships while others prioritize career and work. If you come from backgrounds that esteem different life goals, understanding the difference helps create a balance.
Strike a balance on what your future goals look like. If you can't do that, compromise is still an option. However, ensure that you do not end up being the one on the giving side every time. The goal is to have a happy home, so work through your differences to build one.
Never Allow Your Partner to Strip You of Your Cultural Heritage
Every person hopes to meet a partner that embraces their culture. That is never the case most times. Falling in love is natural, and it takes time to learn who your partner is. If you discover they do not want anything to do with your culture, it is vital to explain to them how important it is to you.
Your significant other should support and uphold your heritage, however much they are disinterested in it. Anyone that tries to pull you away from your root isn't someone you should settle for because this person will eventually try to fix other things in your life. Let them go if it gets to that point.
Both Cultures Matter, So Embrace Them
No one's culture is superior to the other. Focusing on one means that the other gets a back seat. Consequently, you miss out on the joy of living in a blended home, as far as culture is concerned. Enjoy every aspect of your origins together.
Prepare meals from both communities, learn about each community's history, and uphold important traditions from both ends. Each culture deserves significant representation for it to feel like you're in a multicultural relationship.
Anticipate The Not So Happy Moment with Each Other's Families
Everyone has reservations about culture, and it would be sad if you and your partner's family don't get along because of these. Such situations aren't singled out, so you can be a part of them. Be prepared to face such cases because not everyone will agree with everything regarding your culture.
Let this not come between you and your partner. Accommodate their family as much as you can, but do not allow them to be offensive toward you. And instead of using the energy to refute claims or change your in-laws' minds, spend it on your partner to build a solid foundation for the relationship.
Appreciate Your Privileges
People of color always get the shorter end of the stick when it comes to many things. White privilege is a thing that non-colored people enjoy. Understanding that most of the things you've achieved in life had a significant boost from your color will help you realize your partner's struggles.
You can use your status to bring awareness to ignorant people about the effects of your color's hierarchy and sensitize them on things they should do to ease the burden.
Uncomfortable Conversations Are Inevitable
There isn't one relationship on the planet that survives the uncomfortable situations. Yours won't be the exception either. Be ready to tackle conversations that make you quiver. Racial discrimination, the difference in culture, origin, discrimination, and upbringing are some of the controversial discussions you will have to work through. What makes the relationship strong is the ability to move past such conversations. Nevertheless, both parties must civilize the situation to avoid saying hurtful things.
Understand Your Responses to Situations Are Different
Your background plays a significant role in how you react to situations. It is silly to expect the same reaction to every problem you face, whether big or small. Note that your partner won't always take things the same way you do.
Black people tense when a police officer stops them along the highway, but white people don't. If you have a partner from a different culture that coils when they see the cops, understand that the varying life experiences and upbringing affect how they react.
Talk About the Significant Topics
Racism is one of the injustices that non-white people face. Therefore, it is vital to talk about this subject and understand how it affects your partner. Bringing up such conversations makes your partner feel valued. To them, it means you are affected by what hurts them, and you would do anything to make the situation right.
Even if you can't be the person who comes up with the next trending hashtag, the thought that you are bothered by the injustices your partner faces is enough to bring harmony into the relationship.
Never Let Stereotypes Keep Your Relationship from Thriving
Let's face it, not everyone you meet is happy about their relationship. Some people are bold enough to say it to your face, while others aren't. Allowing the naysayers' comments to get to you means you will not enjoy a healthy relationship with your partner.
It also means that they have created a wedge between you that could potentially lead to a split. Letting these people get to you stands in the way of your happiness and future with your partner. Keep your distance from such individuals if you want to have a healthy relationship.
Network with People in Similar Relationships
It isn't uncommon to find interracial couples that face the same challenges as you. Networking with these individuals brings a sense of belonging, especially when you feel isolated as a couple. You share experiences and solutions that help you build a thick skin and solve issues as they arise.
Plug into Your Community's Support Team
Interracial dating can take a toll on you, whether or not you're new to it. And while understanding your partner is vital, it is critical to connect with people from your ethnicity to give you a sense of belonging. Spending time with people who resonate with your struggles gives you a chance to bring out your true nature without looking over your shoulder.
You also enjoy your culture and do not have to impress anyone else for a little while. It is a refreshing feeling you shouldn't miss.
Appreciate Your Partner
Racial differences, struggles, uncomfortable conversations, and varying heritage are things that you deal with in an interracial relationship. Remember, you also have other everyday struggles in relationships regardless of their nature.
Your partner has chosen to stand by you and love you regardless of the glaring differences and the innumerable problems they've faced on your account. Appreciate their presence and be thankful that they choose to spend forever with you.
Considering that several things may come up that may potentially shake the relationship, ruin their reputation, or demean their humanity, you should be glad they opt to be with you instead of choosing the easy way out.
Realize You Have to Work Harder to Make the Relationship Work
All relationships require hard work. Everything from communication, understanding your partner's love language, blending with their family, and planning for the future requires your attention.
When it comes to interracial relationships, the dynamics are a bit different, meaning you have to put extra effort into making the relationship work. Be ready and willing to do the heavy lifting to prove your love to your partner.
What We Say
Interracial relationships are different but beautiful. Keeping your partner happy and the relationship healthy is paramount. You must invest your time, energy, resources, emotions, and anything else you need to make the relationship successful. Taking this advice for interracial.
