16 Tell-Tale Signs She Doesn't Want a Relationship With You

She doesn't want a Relationship

So you've been seeing her for a couple of months. And you're starting to feel like a real connection is forming. Perhaps she's giving you signals which make it difficult to know whether or not she wants a relationship with you.

You wonder what to do when she doesn't want a relationship with you. You want to move things forward, but you're afraid of scaring her off. Does your girlfriend want to get serious with you? Or is she into casual romance only? Maybe you have asked her about it, but she doesn't open up exclusively. You are confused, and you don't know what to do.

And, it's not something you can always figure out right away. But, it turns out there are some subtle signs that can give this away. Well, you have landed at the right place. We understand your struggles, and we got your back.

Here are 16 obvious tell-tale signs that she doesn't want a relationship with you – what to do when she doesn't want a relationship.

Everything Is About Her

Does your girlfriend bring anything to the table?

One of the apparent signs she doesn't want a relationship with you is when she is self-centered. She wants everything to be about her.

You don't need someone who just wants to be spoiled all the time. You need someone who will bring something to the table, too. You will know if a girl wants a meaningful relationship with you or not by paying attention to how she is interested in your life.

If a lady seriously wants you, she will definitely want to know what's happening in your life. She will seek to know where you have come from, where you are in life, and where you are going. She won't just be interested in what you can buy her or the materialistic things in life. And she will let you know that your girlfriend is there for you when you need her support.

Conversations will be more of one way when a girl isn't into you. It is only you asking about her life. She doesn't bother to know about you. And when she talks, it's all about her life and her needs. She doesn't present herself as a girl you can rely on for support and build a future together.

If you want to be sure, try requesting her for some help. She will refuse blatantly and give you some lame excuses on why she can't support you or will even choose to spend time with other people when you need her the most.

If you realize that your girlfriend is a self-centered woman and everything is about her, it's time to know she has no desire for you. She is in your life just because she gets some help from you, and has no intention to replicate the same to you.

It's like she's this all-consuming black hole of need, and if you don't give her what she wants, there will be hell to pay. If the woman in your life only seems interested in what you can do for her, then she probably doesn't want a real relationship — at least not with you.

Doesn't Anticipate Anything Special

If you want to know signs she doesn't want anything serious with you, observe whether a girl looks forward to anything special.

Women will only look forward to something if they plan on being around for it. If a woman you like tells you about an upcoming concert she's excited about or a trip to Alaska she wants to take next summer, that's your invitation to ask her out.

A girl who wants a relationship with you will want to spend time with you. She will often talk about plans for a sweet date with you.

Conversely, if your girlfriend doesn't seem excited about anything with you, she doesn't plan to stick around for long. She has excuses for every suggestion you make for spending time with her.

Your girlfriend doesn't talk about a future together, whether marriage or having kids. Or maybe she doesn't care whether you go for dates in fancy places – or even for a walk together.

If you notice this kind of behavior with a girl – there is nothing serious going to happen between you two.

Hasn't Introduced You to Her Friends

She Doesn't want a Relationship

If you can't even remember the last time your girlfriend introduced you to anyone, then chances are, it's never happened. And if it hasn't, it probably means she doesn't want a relationship with you. Women are naturally very social and always have lots of friends.

But when a woman is attracted to a man, she will usually find a way to introduce him to at least one friend. It doesn't have to be her best friend, but any friend will do. A girl might even introduce you to her family members if she really likes you!

A lady will want to show off how great of a guy you are. She'll wish everyone close around her to know that she found an awesome guy – you!

Has an Overt Interest in Other Guys

You're in the middle of a conversation, and she mentions that she 'can't wait to see her family this weekend.' You ask why, and she says it's because her cousin is coming into town, and the two of them are going out on Friday night.

You're confused and ask, 'I thought you said your cousin was married?' She replies, 'Oh yeah…he is. But he has a friend I'm really interested in meeting!”

A woman who is interested in you will make that very clear. She won't be dating other people simultaneously and won't go out of her way to mention all the guys she wants to date or hook up with.

If a girl is telling you how much fun she has with her friends — even if talking about boys — then it's a sign that doesn't want anything serious with you and you can date girls online. She might tell you that one of her friends is interested in her or that she's going on a date with someone else. She won't feel guilty about these things because it isn't serious between you.

When this happens, you need to decide if the relationship is worth it. If so, it's time to have a conversation about what you really want from each other. If not, then it might be time for both of you to move on and find someone else.

Doesn't Initiate Anything

A relationship is built on two people communicating and respecting each other. But when you're the only one trying, things can get a little tricky.

She never calls or texts first. If she's always waiting for you to get in touch first, it could signify that she's not interested in being with you. If your girlfriend does respond, she takes hours or even days to do so. She never suggests getting together spontaneously for drinks or dinner without making other plans first. You never go on actual dates.

If every time you see her is as part of a group event or a social gathering with friends, chances are it's not going anywhere. You can hang out as friends, but if there's no one-on-one time where you can really get to know each other better, it's probably just not going to work.

If a girl likes you and you're in a relationship with her, she will do little things to show you that she cares. For example, she might touch your arm, hug you, or hold your hand. She will always start a chat with you. She texts or calls when you least expect her to do so. These are surefire signs that she has seen potential in you. She can't imagine her future without you.

But, this doesn't mean your girlfriend should be too clingy and show signs of insecurity. Of course, you must be keen to know whether she is genuine about her feelings or not. If she doesn't do any of those things, there's a strong possibility that she doesn't like you in that way — or at least not enough to have a relationship with you.

Isn't Envious When You're With Other Girls

Women are extremely good at decoding signals from other women. When a girl wants you in her life, she gets envious when you're out with other women because she feels like her chances of getting something better are slipping away. She won't like seeing other girls hanging around you or getting your attention because she wants you all for herself.

Being jealous of your time or attention to someone else is generally a good sign — it means she is interested in you and thinks you're worth investing in. If someone has shown no jealousy when you are with another woman, there's a good chance she's holding back on you. Her lack of jealousy may also suggest that she feels too comfortable being around other people and doesn't see much of a future for you as an exclusive couple.

And she probably doesn't want to be with you as much as you want to be with her. After all, if she doesn't have strong feelings for you, why should she be so concerned about what you do with other women?

Wants to Find a Guy Like You

When a girl tells you she wishes to date a guy of your type, she is simply putting you in the friend zone. She subconsciously knows that you're not the right person for her and that she could get someone better than you – but without hurting your feelings.

Yes, she likes your personality. She appreciates your strengths and weaknesses. But you don't make her tick. She means you can't be her better half because you are not the person she exactly wants.

You take good care of her, take her for dates, and are always there when your girlfriend needs you. Yet, she is not interested in you beyond a mere friendship.

But then, you may ask, “Why doesn't she love me?” Maybe she does not know what she wants from a man. Or she dislikes you and is just playing with your mind. Perhaps, she used this line to keep you in her life without committing to a relationship. Whatever the case, this girl is not for you. In this situation, you can do nothing to make her love you. You don't need to change. Accept the situation and believe another woman will fall for you the way you are.

Insists on Working on Herself

Doesn't want a Relationship

Many people will say that they want to improve their lives somehow. But when a girl says she wants to work on herself, this is a major red flag indicating she doesn't want a relationship.

If she's telling you that she wants to work on herself, she means that her life goals don't include you right now. If you push the issue and try to get her to change her mind, you'll only come off looking like a jerk who can't respect women's choices.

She's not trying to figure out whether or not she wants to be in a relationship with you. She's trying to figure out whether or not your girlfriend can find someone better than you. But if that's the case, why is she still talking to you? Why is the girl still flirting with you?

Well, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and doesn't want you feeling bad about yourself. And besides, she might even like you as a friend.

If your goal is to build a long-term relationship and marriage, this probably isn't the right girl for the job. It means that it's time for you to move on and find a girl ready for commitment because there are plenty of them out there.

Remember, you can't make someone love you or want a relationship with you. All you can do is be there for them and love them as much as possible until they realize what they have.

Controls Everything

So, you want a serious relationship with that girl, but your girlfriend controls the dynamic between you. She texts first, plans dates, and you follow her opinions. The truth is, she won't take you as a serious guy. Women love guys with opinions and can take the lead in a relationship.

You should stand firm as a man and determine the course of a relationship. Of course, you have to consider your woman's opinions and preferences. But it should be that you follow her moods and suggestions blindly. Men who take the initiative portray themselves as leaders and attract women.

A good girl will follow a guy with leadership qualities because she trusts him with life and dreams. So, when you let a girl control everything from the start, she'll see you as nothing less than a clueless jerk. She will never think about having a relationship with you. Instead, she will lose interest in you and go for another guy with masculine attributes.

In this case, you are the problem. If a lovely chick shows up in your life, you must rise to the occasion and display your masculinity. Provide leadership, make plans, be creative with dates, etc. She will fall in love with you without much struggle on your side.

Is Always Busy When You Need Her

As a woman looking for a relationship, she will find the time for you. A woman will want to spend as much time with you as possible and make herself available to you. If she has to work late, she will tell you and make up for the lost time with interest. When a woman's not into you, she will always have an excuse not to spend time with you.

The few times she does make time, she can only hang out for a couple of hours before she has to leave — because of work, family obligations, etc. You may have also noticed that when you see her in person, she's always on her phone or checking it as soon as she leaves your presence.

A girl will cancel a date at the last minute with the excuse that something urgent came. Maybe the girl sees another guy, and they are out having fun together. She might be lying or telling the truth, but either way, her actions show that she doesn't want to spend time with you.

Your girlfriend only answers in one-word responses when you ask her what she's up to. Or worse, she gives a vague, overly general answer like "nothing much." This isn't very pleasant, and it's also an obvious sign she doesn't want a relationship with you.

If she liked you, she would make time for you and would block out an entire evening to spend with you. She would give more than one-word answers to your questions about what she did today or how work went, or if anything interesting happened to her.

Shows Mixed Signals

It's important to remember that women aren't always going to be in the mood. There are plenty of times when she just isn't feeling it, which can leave you confused.

However, if she's flirty with you one day and then acts like a cold fish the next, consider this a red flag. One day she's all over you; the next day, she's like a turtle, hiding in its shell.

Reading between the lines is vital when a girl gives you mixed signals.

If you're seeking a long-term relationship, it's frustrating to go on dates with someone sending you mixed messages.

You might find yourself asking:

  • Does she like me?
  • Is she interested in me?
  • Is she playing hard to get?

She pulls away when you try to get close and pushes you out when you try to get some distance.

Your girlfriend doesn't want to be anything more than friends with you, and if you push her for anything more, she will hurt you. And though it's confusing and painful when a chick plays mind games with you, it's prudent to accept the reality.

This girl knows you love her and takes advantage of you. She will pretend to love you when it's convenient for her. She knows you are always available when she needs you.

When you notice such behavior, respect yourself and guard your dignity. Don't allow her to keep you at arm's length. Cut her off completely and focus on your life. Keep searching, and one day you'll meet the right girl for you.

Only Wants Physical Connection With You

You're a great guy, she's a great girl, and you two have been having a great time together. You've even hung out at her house, where you get to meet her parents. But the one thing you can't seem to get is the two of you being official.

A physical connection is essential in a relationship, but it isn't the only thing that needs to be there. Emotional intimacy is critical when a man and a woman want to become more than mere friends. You must invest your emotions in each other and exude vulnerability.

But let's be honest, when a woman is into a man, she wants to know what makes him tick and happy. She genuinely cares about him, not just his body, and will pursue an emotional connection with him. She wants you to be emotionally available for her and replicates the same. When you are apart, she misses you dearly, constantly checking on you.

But if the only thing that happens when you are together is sex, then this isn't a serious relationship. Maybe she wants a casual affair with you devoid of emotional connection. She just loves your bed games but not the idea of spending all her life with you.

Probably, your girlfriend has fallen for another guy out there. But at the same time, she doesn't want to let go of you. You know, this can be a difficult situation to figure out.

If the woman won't talk about her feelings and doesn't ever seem to care about yours, then this is a warning sign that she doesn't love you.

When a girl knows that you are the one nagging for emotional intimacy and wanting to take things a notch higher, she may become controlling. She isn't ready for you and will take advantage of your feelings and manipulate you for her selfish desires.

You should be alert to notice her direction and take control of your love life. Of course, you don't want to invest your feelings in her when she doesn't care about your needs. If a girl doesn't appreciate your efforts and love, it will never happen.

Isn't Ready for a Commitment

Does your girlfriend say she doesn't want a relationship? She may be saying it for various reasons, but the bottom line is that she's telling you she doesn't want one with you.

But most guys don't understand what this excuse means. You may want to hang in there, hoping she'll be ready to date you someday.

But you'll be in for a shock.

Your girlfriend just wants you around her, acting like a boyfriend when you aren't. All she needs is your attention, but not you. And because you want a relationship with her, you will do everything to please her.

You may think giving your all will make her change her mind. But little do you know you're wasting your time and feelings. This girl has made up her mind you are not the one. She will fall in love with her dream guy and leave you in the cold.

If a girl doesn't love you now, she will never love you. So, if a girl says she isn't ready, she simply doesn't want a relationship with you. There's no need to get down on yourself or make excuses for why she told you this. The important thing is to move forward in your life with confidence and purpose.

Is Too Comfortable With You From the Start

Being comfortable with someone takes a while, but that's a bad sign if she's already there. If she lets her guard down and acts like she's known you "forever." That means the girl might not want to be dating anyone right now. She enjoys just hanging out with you — as friends.

When a chick wants long-lasting intimacy with you, she lets some tension prevail in the relationship. She is not too sure from the start that you're hers forever. Sometimes a girl will want to know who you really are to her.

When you try to win a girl's heart by making her too comfortable, you will finally lose her. She will start taking your efforts for granted. She isn't curious about your future together because she already knows much about you.

Maybe you have made some terrible mistakes like being too available for her and making your moves obvious. So, she sees nothing exciting about you to make her want a genuine relationship with you.

However, you should not be too unpredictable and let confusion ensue. If she feels like she doesn't know the direction of the whole affair, she will lose interest in you.

So, the key to getting her to stay genuinely is to manage her comfort and expectations in the relationship. Your girlfriend should be comfortable enough to stay while anticipating greater things in the future.

Still Loves Her Ex

What to do when she Doesn't want a Relationship

It's pretty common for a woman to still be friendly with her ex. She might even have an ex-boyfriend that she considers a best friend. But if she's too hung up on him, then it's one of the signs she doesn't want a relationship with you.

If she talks about him in a way that feels like she's still emotionally hung up on him, it won't be long before they are back together.

Even if they broke up years ago, there are some signs that she might still be into him and not you. She mentions him often or always has to defend him when you bring him up. And you can't stop her from talking about that guy. If this is the case, her heart is still with her ex and not you.

You don't want a girl who keeps on praising her ex over you or comparing you with him. You will need to outdo her ex if you want to keep her all for you. Otherwise, she will double deal with the two of you. And finally, she will dump you for her ex.

You want to be with a woman who has her focus on you, not whatever past relationship she had. So, walk away if you realize your girl has an attachment with her ex.

Takes the Blame

"It's not you, It's Me" is the classic line when someone wants to end a relationship. And women use it a lot when they want to let go of you.

If a girl says that to you before anything has happened between you, it's a sure sign she doesn't want a relationship with you. Maybe she still sees her ex, or she is not emotionally prepared to date you. Or she insists on the need for time to work on herself.

She probably means she isn't interested in pursuing anything further with you beyond a friendship. She doesn't want to discuss with you the reasons for the breakup. So, she opts to take all the blame for the relationship not succeeding.

You know, you can't give her anything to stay or promise to change anyway. She has already ruled out any possibility of dating you.

This is an entirely transparent excuse a girl uses to let you down easy and give her an exit. She just wants you to believe it's not your fault but hers. But in reality, she is dumping you for another guy.

She knows you are a nice person, and you genuinely love her. The guilt of hurting you haunts her.

And you need to know what to do when she doesn't want a relationship with you.

Well, it's time for you to get back to your senses and start looking for another girl who wants you for a lasting relationship.

Final Thoughts

When it comes to women, you need to read between the lines when they say something. The truth is, finding someone to spend our lives with is not easy. Sometimes, you have to kiss many frogs before meeting the right girl for you. If you can tell that she doesn't want a relationship with you, you need to stop pursuing her. It's much better for you both if you find someone who does want a lasting relationship with you.

Last update: 04/19/2022