Dating an overthinker: how to handle their anxiety
An overthinker is a person who thinks all the time about their life, profession and personal things. They always analyze their relationships, their deeds and actions, the thoughts of other people. In most cases it will lead to a lot of worries and anxiety, since they often make wrong conclusions. These people also think for another person. They may believe their partner is angry or tired even if it's not true.
Dating an overthinker might be difficult and tiresome since you will have to always cope with their worries. But it doesn't mean it's impossible. You just should learn how to handle this peculiarity.
Sings you are with an overthinker in relationship
What is an overthinker? We will give you some signs to describe these people better:
- Your partner has a tough time making decisions because they are used to overanalyze everything. Often they just can't give you an instant answer on simple questions.
- They doubt their abilities and advantages. Over analyzing their behavior is common for overthinkers. Sometimes they believe they aren't good enough, so low self-esteem is their best friend.
- They dwell on their bad experience and past mistakes. These people can't let the situation go and move forward to. They often tell about their mistakes to their partner.
- They do their best to be perfect but sometimes it's just impossible and it frustrates them a lot.
A person who is over analytical might be very suspicious and restrained. Sometimes they are too insecure to get into a romantic relationship. If you date an overthinker, you should be proud of having their trust.
How dating overthinkers can affect your relationships?
Dating overthinkers isn't easy. Your anxious partner can destroy your good mood for several minutes. They always doubt your love and sometimes they are too jealous even if you are honest with them.
If your overthinking partner doesn't work on their behavior, a relationship might be ruined. But at the same time, this peculiarity can be good for your pair. You will feel loved and cared and you can always talk with your partner about everything. If you have problems and misunderstandings in a relationship, feel free to discuss them with your overthinking partner. They will listen to you and will support you.
The pros of dating an overthinking
First, let's talk about the advantages of loving an overthinker. One day you will realize you adore your partner and you don't need anyone else.
They are intelligent and interesting
With an overthinking partner you will always have deep conversations. They can talk about history, literature, art and psychology. These people love to read, so feel free to discuss your favorite books.
They prefer calm leisure and hobbies
If you are an introvert, it will be the best option for you. Dating someone who overthinks means you will spend a lot of time hugging and cuddling on the bed, watching an interesting movie or having a wonderful dinner together.
They are attentive and cared
These people pay a lot of attention to details. They will know what you want and what you need and they will try to give you that. Overthinkers are good listeners and they will do their best to solve your problem.
The cons of dating an overthinking
Dating someone who analyzes everything might be hard, especially if you are an easy-going and light-hearted person. These people don't get along well with extraverts. Let's talk about some hardships you can face while being in this relationship.
They are pessimistic
One of the traits of an overthinker in a relationship is their pessimism. Sometimes they truly believe you both don't have a future and your relationships are going to an end. Sometimes your partner will have a bad mood and they can't explain the reason. Be ready they won't smile and laugh often. However, if they love you, their mood will be better at your presence.
They are jealous
Their jealousy comes from insecurity. Dating an overthinker man means he might control you. The same goes to women. The will check your phone and email, sometimes they won't believe you. If your partner is emotional enough, they can make you terrible scenes.
They are needy
One of the signs of overthinking in a relationship is the lack of independence. You loved one can't be without you literally. They always need your attention. They will call and text you every minute and if you are busy, they will be offended even. Sometimes it's getting annoying.
They are anxious
It's not about a relationship only. Your partner will be anxious about everything (their professional duties, parents, friendship). They will always tell you about their worries and you will have to always sooth them (it doesn't always help though).
They may dump you first
Overthinkers in a relationship often avoid any type of closeness. They are afraid to get used to a person because they expect they will break up with me. To avoid it they will try to dump you before you do it. Some people aren't able to maintain a long-term relationship at all.
They are restrained
Some overthinkers are timid and restrained and at the beginning of the relationships they may seem even cold. It's common for a physical closeness and sexuality as well. When you are dating an overthinker woman, don't expect she will sleep with you on the first date. They are careful enough and they try to get to know a person better step by step.
They don't like active hobbies and noisy places
Most of overthinkers are introverts, so they prefer to meet you face to face, without other people. They won't go to a party or to a rock concert with you. If you want to have an active partner, you better choose another option.
They need some personal space
Sometimes your overthinking partner wants to be alone and it's fine. Give them some space and you will see them happier than usual. Let them miss you and your relationships will be brighter.
How to date an overthinker
How to help someone stop overthinking and be happy in love? It's not so easy, but you can do it if you truly love your partner. We will give you some tips that will make your relationships more comfortable and harmonic.
- Be patient and ready to comfort them all the time. Sometimes their worries are irrational and you should understand it. Try not to get tired of comforting your partner and remember they always need your support. Don't raise your voice and don't look irritated unless you want lose your loved one.
- Remind them about their important role in your life. These people often think they aren't good enough. Try to dissuade them. Tell them often they have a lot of worth at work and personal life. Show your partner you value them.
- Keep mutual boundaries. Overthinking people don't like someone who will control them. Respect their privacy. If your partner doesn't want to tell you about their worries, don't insist on it. Let them get calm a bit and say you can always talk later.
- Don't lose yourself in the tries of soothing. Your desires are also important. If you aren't ready to listen to their complaints, offer your partner to discuss it later. You can say that you understand that he or she is stressed but right now you don't have enough of mental resources for support.
- Discuss all problems and don't try to mask them. If you don't tell about your worries, it will raise the anxiety of your partner. Don't be shy to talk frankly about even the most delicate and intimate things.
- Don't forget about physical closeness. It's not only about sex. Introverts and overthinkers often are very tactile. They love touches and hugs. Give it to them if you want to make them feel better.
- Don't cheat on and be loyal. Don't destroy their trust in you. If you flirt with other people, it will make your partner feel devastated.
- Be open about your intentions. Most of overthinkers are looking for a serious relationship with a marriage and mutual support. For women the official marriage is quite important since it helps them to understand they are cared and valued. If you are into casual meetings, don't disappoint them and tell them about it openly. You can lose your partner this way but it's better that lie.
- Make them nice surprises. Find out what your partner likes and what they want. Maybe they would like to get an interesting book or just wonderful flowers. Don't forget about romance. If your relationships are routine and boring, your partner will start thinking they aren't important for you.
How to love an overthinker?
Love is a feeling that is full of patience. Try to understand your partner. Remember that there aren't perfect people in our world, so every partner has their drawbacks. Don't try to change him or her.
Adult people don't like when someone tries to teach them. Instead of it, you can give them a good advice or a gentle recommendation. Don't be too pushy. If your partner wants to stay alone for a while, you can find your own activities to spend some time separately.
Don't compare them with other people, let alone with your ex partners. Overthinkers have the low self-esteem, so this comparison will kill them. On the contrary, tell them they are the best and that you value them a lot. These people love through their ears, so don't be shy to tell about your love and tender feelings. At the same time remember that actions are important. Keep your promises not to disappoint your loved one.
On our website you can find a lot of people who would like to have a serious relationship. Some of them tend to overanalyze everything, you will understand it after several messages. If you are ready to cope with this thing, feel free to start an interesting conversation with an intelligent person. After several days you can ask them out to get to know each other better and to find out if you are compatible.
Thus, dating an overthinker has its own pitfalls, but if you love each other, you will cope with any hardships. Be caring and attentive, respect the worries of your soulmate and you both will be happy in this relationship.
