Pros and cons of dating a military man for serious relationships
Ah, military men. Most women have a little fantasy about dating a guy in uniform at least once in their lifetime. There's just an air of mystery around them with their different career field, and you never really know what to expect other than the obvious – he's hot, masculine, wants to protect you and provide for you, and has some snazzy dress sense to boot (no pun intended).
But why is it that we find men in uniform so irresistible? Is it the sense of authority they exude? Or the fact that they always look so polished and put together? Whatever the reasons, dating a military man can be a truly unique experience. Though they may seem different, military men are normal human beings who deserve your love.
Here are a few things to keep in mind if you're thinking of pursuing a relationship with someone in uniform.
11 Things You Need to Know About Dating a Military Man
There are things that you need to know when dating a military man. When you get into a relationship with a military man, you'll find that they have similarities and differences with nonmilitary men. The most important is to be aware of the dynamics and anticipate them. The reality is that there are pros and cons of dating a military man, just like with civilian relationships.
Here are some important things we think you should know:
They Are Secretive
It's hard to accept that your partner can't reveal some information about their work because it is classified. But if you really love each other, build trust and respect each other. You'll get comfortable with him not revealing much about his work as time goes by.
They Don't Sugarcoat Anything
When it comes to communication, the men in uniform don't beat around the bush. Keeping an open line of communication is always a must. Your man will tell you things straight to the face. And as we all know, effective communication is critical for any successful relationship. Thus, you will need to learn to say things as they are mincing no words.
Their Moves Are Unpredictable
You want your man to be present during special occasions such as birthdays, holidays, and other celebrations. But as much as he may be willing to come, he might cancel plans from time to time. Even if he attends, he may have to leave unexpectedly without telling you where he's going or when he'll be back. Military work is demanding, and you can't always predict their moves.
He'll Be Grateful for Your Dedication
He can't be with you all the time, but he will make sure you know how much he loves and misses you while he is gone. He will appreciate your dedication to being his soulmate even when he is away. Likewise, he wants to know that he means everything to you and that you miss him when he is away.
You Can't Always Depend on Him
When dating, you want your significant other always to be available when you need them the most. However, this might not be the case when dating a military man. You have to accept that their priority will always be the military first and foremost. When they have an unexpected mission, you can't depend on your man to be there for you in case of anything.
Military Men Have Some Incredible Stories
When you date a military man, he'll tell you some pretty amazing stories. Sometimes he might exaggerate the stories or tell them repeatedly. But if you genuinely love him, you need to show interest in his stories. Remember, you have limited time together, and he needs someone to talk to. Even when out with friends or family, cheer him up as he narrates stories.
His Discipline Is Impeccable
Men in the military have great discipline and respect for authority. He has learned to stand and hold his position no matter what, so he will not leave you hanging in a time of need.
He will extend this discipline to your relationship. He will always follow through with his promises. You can count on him to get things done when he says he will, and if there are any problems, he will address them quickly and honestly.
Your Man Will Be Pretty Knowledgeable
Military men learn many things from being in different places and having different experiences. And while some of them may be shocking, they're always interesting. They travel widely because of their work, getting exposure to diverse cultures, and meeting different people. Thus, you stand a chance to tap into their vast knowledge and learn new things.
Befriend His Folks
One thing you should accept is that your military guy is devoted to spending his time off with friends and brothers. He will be willing to do anything to be with them. Thus, be ready to spend time with them, even at night. Be friendly to them so that you blend well with them without feeling weird.
He's Highly Protective of You
One of the remarkable benefits of dating a military man is how defensive he is. He will never let anyone hurt you or get dangerously close to you. If he feels that someone is trying to take advantage of you or hurt you physically or emotionally, he will step up and end the situation in a heartbeat. It's like having your bodyguard!
This protection can come off as him being clingy and needy of your time, but it's just because he wants to make sure everything is going well and that you are safe.
He'll Use Different Languages
Your man will use acronyms and phrases that you can't understand. This is especially true when he starts using some of these military terms when conversing with you. But don't worry, you'll learn and adapt with time. You need to show him you are interested in whatever he's saying and be willing to learn.
Tips for Dealing With a Military Boyfriend
When it comes to dating a service member, there are a lot of challenges and obstacles you might face. While challenges are a natural part of the journey, it's essential to know that you can get through those challenges with your head held high and know that you are not alone in any situation.
Here are six tips for dealing with military guys.
You Need to Sacrifice a Lot for the Relationship
Having a relationship with someone in the military isn't easy. A military relationship demands sacrifices; otherwise, it won't work. The military job comes first, and at times you may feel like your career or education are at stake. All you need to make the relationship work is a positive attitude towards it.
It's Not Always Easy to Fit in
Let's face it — the military is its world, and the lifestyle may not be for everyone. Sometimes you may feel like you don't fit in. But if you are interested in the person and not just the uniform, he is definitely worth the pursuit. Just keep trying because being a military girlfriend requires a lot of patience, understanding, and flexibility. Be friendly to people and be willing to learn the military culture. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to other military spouses if you need help or guidance.
You Will Worry!
When you date a military man, you've got to be able to deal with a lot of stress and sadness. He could be deployed for months or even years at a time, and even when he's not deployed, he's got to go away on training trips or be in the field for weeks at a time. You won't be able to see him all the time or talk to him as much as you'd like. Chances are, you'll be doing most of the talking in your relationship. He's got a job to do, and if you don't step up and make things easier for him, he'll have a hard time focusing on his mission.
You Will Often Be Lonely
Being in military relationships can be one of the most challenging things in the world. It requires a lot of strength and patience, especially when your loved one is away at training or deployment. Sometimes, it can be hard not having that person by your side during important events, but it is time to step up and become the person you need to be.
People Won't Understand You
Family members might not understand why you're dating someone who doesn't live near you. They may not understand why you're putting so much effort into your relationship when he isn't around and they can worry about a post traumatic stress disorder. They may try to give you advice or tell you that it won't work. But they're wrong. No matter how far apart you are, things will work if you really love each other. If you want to find like-minded people, you can find a military community in your city. People from a military community have the same problems and they can support you.
Believe You Can
The military lifestyle makes it hard to have a normal relationship, but it is possible. When the relationship is new, you might feel overwhelmed by the movements, deployment, or loneliness. Keep your spirit high and have the zeal to build a successful relationship.
Ways to Maintain a Military Relationship
So, you've decided to date a military man. The truth is, you will experience a roller coaster of emotions during your service member's arduous deployments. Though you may feel isolated and discouraged, you must find a way to stay strong for your children and yourself.
Whether you're just starting to get serious or are years into your marriage, you can take steps to keep your relationship strong and healthy in military families.
Here are six military rules on how to maintain your relationship with a serviceman:
The Military Always Comes First
You need to realize that as much as you love him. He loves his country, and he will do anything to protect it from external enemies. Loving his job isn't necessarily a bad thing, but there are times you might feel like a third wheel or like your partner is cheating on you with their job.
Sometimes he will leave in the middle of your birthday party. Or he'll cancel the plans for a date at the last minute. If you want your relationship to work, you must accept this fact as part of the deal and give him all the support he needs.
Be Patient With Him
The military service will keep them busy 24/7, and they may have little time left to call or talk to you regularly. Your guy may also be getting called into work at the drop of a hat, so he won't always be able to attend special events. Just know that they are doing their best to balance things out in their lives.
You Have to Be Flexible
You are the one to adapt to the military lifestyle. Remember, he is the one who signed up for the service. He can't choose where he lives or how long he lives there. You need to be able to adapt to a constantly changing lifestyle if you want this relationship to work. Get used to taking care of your kids and pets when he is away.
Don't Hate His Boss
Sometimes you may think the commander is responsible for your boyfriend's absence. However, that is just the nature of the job. Bear in mind that the boss is also away from their family. Don't complain to your husband about how terrible his boss is. Put yourself in their shoes and understand the situation.
Communication Is Key
When you're separated from your significant other, communication becomes even more critical than it already was. Even if you're not able to talk daily, keeping in touch helps remind you that you're not alone in this experience and will make you appreciate one another more when you get to talk. Establishing a communication routine helps keep a sense of normalcy when everything else about your life is constantly shifting.
There Are So Many Rules
The military has a code of conduct that guides the officers and extends to their spouses. For instance, you have to learn to be secretive. You don't go around exposing military information to civilians. Also, you have to be careful with what you post on social media while dating. You don't want to compromise your country's security. Worse still, breaking the rules will put your boyfriend's job at risk and could lead to you parting ways. So, you have to abide by all the rules to build a meaningful relationship with your military boyfriend.
Final Thoughts
So, do you want to date a military man? It's time to put the rumors and myths to rest finally. Dating a military man could be the most epic adventure of your life, and there are plenty of things that you should know before even thinking about it. You will be faced with some tough decisions, but that is part of what makes this dating challenging and rewarding. Don't fear the challenges. Instead, focus on the benefits of dating a military man. The service members have impeccable discipline and are pretty protective. You will enjoy the whole experience of dating a man in uniform, while he will not have to search for dating women online.
FAQs About Dating a Military Man
Here are some of the questions people frequently ask about dating a military man:
Do Military Relationships Move Fast?
Sometimes military relationships move fast to marriage so that spouses can move together during deployment.
Are Soldiers Good in Bed?
Well, there is no general answer. It will depend on the individual you deal with, and you will have to find yourself.
Can You Date While in the Military?
Yes, you can date while in the military. However, deployment or training may restrict you from going on a date with your love.
How Do Military Wives Cope?
There are pros and cons of dating a military man, but there are many things you can do to cope with a military lifestyle. Be patient, appreciate your man, communicate regularly, make friends, and ask for help whenever a need arises. Always stay positive, and your relationship will go far.
Can Service Members Have Cell Phones on Deployment?
Soldiers can use cell phones but are subject to regulation. Though, there are many factors to consider in every case.
Can Two Enlisted Service Members Marry?
Yes, so long as they don't break the set out protocol. Servicemen and women are free to marry amongst themselves or marry civilians.
Can You Live With Your Boyfriend in the Military?
While dating while in the military is allowed, you may not stay with your guy at the base. If your boyfriend lives in the barracks, you can't live with him. Bases require people to be married to live in the barracks. But if he lives off-base, you can live with him. The same case applies to a man dating a military woman.
