Tips for Dating a Single Mom

If you are still fishing for someone to tie the knot with, it is critical to note that single moms are part of the fish in the pond. Recent studies by the Pew Research Center indicate that most of the children living with single moms are in the U.S.

These single parents make some of the most incredible partners thanks to their unique addition to the mix. Their perspective of life, concerns, and encounters are some of the inimitable experiences they bring into a relationship.

Thanks to their experience and capabilities, these ladies often know what they're after in a relationship. So, if you've had an eye on a single mom, here are single mom dating tips you should keep in mind to make it successful.

Acknowledge the Difference

Adjusting your expectations is the primary factor that comes into play before dating a single mother. You may not understand how much this lady is into you from how much time they spend with you or how much energy they invest in the relationship.

A significant chunk of their time goes into taking care of their offspring and whatever time is left, meaning you have to contend with getting the raw end of the deal as much as spending time together is concerned.

If you want to know if a single parent values you, look for other pointers to let you know how much they appreciate you. These ladies can be blunt when expressing themselves due to harsh encounters in the past.

This character may seem somewhat harsh, but it makes it easy to choose what they want. Consequently, this comes in handy in helping erode the misery that comes with learning someone's likes and dislikes at the onset of a relationship.

Be Ready to Settle for Second Place

In regular relationships, gents usually take precedence in their partner's lives. However, dating as a single parent means the tables turn. It is natural for her to put her kids first. She already has someone who depends on her and has to turn a tiny human into an adult single-handedly.

Acknowledging that the child is more important to her than you at the moment is one way of saving you heartache and extreme bouts of jealousy. Additionally, you may want to accept that the child is involved in their mother's choice of a partner, depending on their age.

These kids value the relationship with their mother, especially since she's the only person they spend time with most days. Consequently, they may have a problem when someone comes to disrupt their reality by demanding a piece of their already scarce and only parent.

If the kid sees you as competition, it may mean that the relationship has to go for their sake. Please consider such factors and take it easy when it gets to this stage. Give your partner enough time and space to find a solution to making the child feel comfortable with the addition.

Don't Rush

Dating a single mom has different dynamics that involve winning over the children's hearts. You may feel obligated to impress the kids, especially if they are the primary determiners of whether or not you stay in your partner's life.

If you aren't sure if you want to play a significant role in the kids' lives, being honest helps clear any uncertainties. In such cases, you may want to take a back seat when bonding with the children to avoid breaking their hearts when you have to end the relationship.

Only pick up a role that you can uphold in the long run. Most importantly, if you feel like you're treading in deep waters, you can always follow the mother's lead. She knows what is best for her babies and already has an idea of how far she wants you to go as far as her children are concerned.

Take every milestone slowly and allow the kids to make the first moves. That will let you know how much they trust you.

Practice Upfront Honesty

What are you after? Do you want a fling long-term relationship leading to a wedding, or do you want to bang? You should also state whether you want to be actively involved in the children's lives. The kind of relationship you're after determines how you approach the single mom in question. Talk to her before you get down to business.

Upfront honesty allows you to build vulnerability, essential in creating a solid bond between two partners. It also helps avoid any misunderstandings that may arise from any unmet expectations. You also set a mood of honesty from the beginning.

Be Emotionally Available

Providing for children is a challenging task and toggling between offering financial and emotional support to the kids becomes strenuous for single moms. This results in pressure build-up that can easily throw off her balance.

It is virtually impossible to solve all her single mom dating problems, but a listening ear is worth the shot. Let her know that she has a confidant in you and that she can air her issues to you. Talking helps her release tension and even develop a solution to her worries.

Remember, not only do you help her solve her problems, but you open a window of vulnerability and trust into the relationship. Strive to be an active listener so that she doesn't feel like talking to a wall. Summarize her points, ask as many questions to clarify any grey areas, and be patient with her.

Most importantly, be neutral in the conversation if you want actual results. If you have any viable solutions, you can suggest them, but allow the lady to decide.

Uphold Trust

Your girlfriend may have gone through experiences that cause her to question everything. Depending on someone who lets them down is one thing that raises eyebrows. Instead of following the same old script, you can try something more challenging, like being trustworthy.

Let her in on things that irk you, especially those that can shake the relationship. Allow her into your space so that she feels safe and comfortable around you. Being a reliable man who keeps his word makes it easy for her to fall hard for you and creates an unbreakable bond.

If a situation arises that could quickly tarnish your reputation, be the first to tell her about it and give the correct details. Such incidents can demolish the relationship you've worked hard to build in the blink of an eye.

Be Flexible

Single moms are constantly on edge thanks to the tight work schedule, running the household, and watching their kids. At times, emergencies occur, and they have to leave you hanging to attend to the kids. Do not be disappointed when it gets to this. Understand that there is nothing more she can do.

Allow for second and third chances at dates that went south. Instead of airing your disappointments and sulking when things don't go your way, offer a hand when the sitter bails out or ride with her if she needs to take the kids to the hospital.

You get the medal of the star boyfriend, and she will move things around to make sure you spend ample time together.

Disciplining the Kids Is Unacceptable

Most single moms only introduce boyfriends to their kids if they feel like the relationship stands a chance of surviving and blossoming into something more. Suppose you are at this stage, congratulations! She thinks you are a potential father figure to her offspring.

Regardless of what she thinks, disciplining the children is off-limits. It may bring animosity between you and the children. So, if you feel like something about the kids' behavior should be addressed, raise your concerns to her in private and let her handle the rest.

If you still think she didn't handle the issue properly, she isn't the right one for you. At this point, you already have strong opinions on how she is as a parent. Considering that the relationship may move a notch higher, you may resent her when the two of you finally settle down and have kids together. Leaving the relationship is the ideal thing to do if you can't stand her parenting choices.

Go Easy on Your Judgment

Judging a single mom's parenting choices is a one-way ticket to singlehood. It feels right to come in and give your ideas on what she should do to make her kids more disciplined, but such moves are never welcomed.

From her side, it may look like you have hatred towards her children, and once she picks up that aura, you're on your way to the exit. Offer support and a shoulder to lean on.

That way, she will feel more inclined to tell you about her parenting struggles and even ask for your opinion on what she should do to solve such problems. Rather than sit on a high horse and judge her choices, look at them from a single parent's perspective.

Spontaneity Is Key

Solo moms spend a lot of time with their kids, and sometimes this can get in the way of your fun together. Planning dates can fall flat on the face when she must attend to an emergency. The kids can also hinder your fun, especially when it comes to romance.

Rather than wait for them to sleep at night so you can get some groove going, you can sneak into the garage for some quick action. Such spontaneous things spice things up between you since they make you feel sneaky like teenagers.

Every minute with her counts, so make the most out of it.

Love Her Kids As Much

The most valuable asset a single mom has is her child, and she'd do anything to ensure the child is comfortable. So, if you want to date a single mother, loving her kids is non-negotiable. If she as much as sniffs anything less than embrace and love towards her young one, it is likely that the relationship may end.

Be affectionate towards her child, but be wary of the boundaries she sets. These limits set the tone of how you deal with the kids. If you have children, showing the same amount of love to hers as you do yours lets her know that the idea of a blended family is doable.

Avoid Being in the Middle of Her Baby Daddy Drama

One of the things that you may have to contend with when dating a single parent is her ex-husband or baby daddy. The man she bore children with can quickly become a pain in the back. However, you have to restrain yourself from immersing yourself in matters that concern this guy.

First, it makes you look like a bickering woman, and no lady wants a second girl in the relationship unless she's gay. Being in the center of her drama also leaves you awkward since the kids may resent you for not appreciating their father. You also risk looking stupid if your girl and her ex-boyfriend patch things up.

And not unless the man is physically abusive; keep your distance from their drama. Only engage when she asks you for help and limit how far you can engage in such situations.

Be Ready to Help Around

Running around at work, taking the kids to school, and getting them back home, life's stress, and other factors are the eminent truth in a solo mom's life. At the end of each day, she wants to get home and take a breather.

At times, she's too tired to do anything. On such days, your helping hand should come through for her. You may not need to do anything elaborate, but simple things like making dinner, rubbing her feet or back, or even putting the kids to bed could go a long way.

Not only do you give her a chance to sleep and rejuvenate, but you also add points to your score, which always comes with some goodies.

Her Past Belongs in the Past

Your girl tells you she has two baby daddies, was a stripper in her heydays, divorced, or had insecurity issues in her previous relationships as a way of opening up to you. Instead of appreciating that she trusts you and is willing to give out her darkest secrets to build trust and vulnerability to you, you keep the conversation in a box to use later.

Understand that some of these experiences are tough and take her back to a dark place when you bring them up. If you have to ask anything about her past, ensure that you do it when she opens up to you. Ask everything you need to know and close the conversation forever.

She is trying to move on with her life, so do not insist on taking her back where she doesn't belong anymore.

Bring Something to the Table

Single moms are superheroes that can do a lot on their own. Whether it's paying the bills, footing the kid's tuition fees, parenting, or fixing things around the house, they can effortlessly get these tasks done quickly.

So, when you step into her life, ask yourself, “What am I bringing to the table?” Even if you come bearing the same gifts, ensure that you do not add weight to her problems. Drama and competition aren't part of what she signed up for, so air your concerns in a civilized manner if you have any.

Could You Not Assume You Know What She Wants?

It is easy to fall into making assumptions concerning what your woman wants. Do not be counted among the men that think they have mastered the art of making their women happy. You may be good at going down on her, and she may enjoy your licking prowess, but at times, she is in the mood for an old-fashioned bang.

Allow her to let you into her fantasy world when you get intimate. It saves you a night of horror and guarantees you several other chances to get freaky with her.

Accept Her Body

Your previous girlfriends may not have altered them, but this one has. Stretch marks, saggy boobs, and a little weight addition are some of the body changes she experienced after childbirth. That's her new reality, and it should be yours as well.

Some of these changes affect how they see themselves, so you must be careful how you handle a single mom's body. A compliment will make her feel less insecure. Optimize on such moments to ensure you uplift her spirits. You're her number one fan in bed, so make her feel like it.

Understand You Can't Replace Her Child's Father

It is natural to try and fit in the shoes of her child's father, but that ends in tears most of the time. Your hard work and efforts may go unnoticed by the child you're trying to impress. The kid may still blatantly tell you they aren't looking for a second father.

Rather than put yourself up for heartache and embarrassment, take things slowly. The child already has a father, and whether or not they are in contact, it would take a miracle for you to fit in his shoes and be accepted as their father.

You're Not Her Knight in Shining Armor

A surprisingly high number of men always want to come into a solo mom's life and turn it around while trying to fix things. If this is you, hold your horses. She's been doing things alone and can handle all her business without assistance. Do not try to be the knight in shining armor because your lady isn't a damsel in distress.

Sympathy is the last thing she's looking for, so don't dish it out. Stand by her and help where you can, but do not make her feel helpless because she'll throw you out the window in a jiffy.

It Would Help If You Had Her Back

Things can get murky in an instant. An overbearing baby daddy, unresolved issues with the older kids, work stress, and societal pressure can cause your girl to be under the weather. This isn't the time to fidget around or dilly dally in coming up with solutions.

Take a stand and stay by her side until the internal storm calms. You have to consider a disclaimer that this may quickly escalate to a more significant issue, so be ready to go with the flow. However, do not immerse yourself into her life too much, especially if she didn't ask for help.

Don't Play Games

If you aren't sure about your position in her life or what you want from her, walking away is a good solution. You don't want to be one of the men who string along with a woman for fun, only to leave her hanging.

If you are not ready for a committed relationship, don't waste her time because it's what she doesn't have. Make your intention clear from the start.

Don't Let the Guilt Kill You

Society has a lot to say about single moms, and your family could be on your neck about your intent to date a woman with kids. Sometimes, such stereotypes can get to you, leaving you feeling guilty about your choice.

If you opt to date a solo mom, run with the idea. Do not allow naysayers to take away your joy if that's where it is. Who you date shouldn't be anyone's business, so do not let anyone but you and the woman you're dating have a say in what happens in your life.

A Word From Us

Single parents' dating can be challenging. The rules change significantly from what you consider to be the norm. However, it is easy to blend into her life if you are genuinely interested in the person. Take your time, allow the relationship to grow, and be in the present because that's all you will ever get when dating a solo mom.

Single parent dating advice is that her kids come first, so there is no need to fight for that space. Please do yourself a favor by taking what you get and running with it.